Intergalactic House of Paisley

Prepress Hulk.

Ganked from Making Light.

From Remains of the Day, one of the best and snarkiest Mac news aggregators:

Apple may now be using speedier solid-state storage chips, possibly manufactured by Samsung, in some MacBook Airs. According to AnandTech, the newer chips boast both faster read and write times than the Toshiba models used to date. But if you’re in the market for a MacBook Air, there’s no way to tell which units have which chips, making this the most annoying flash change since Wally West replaced Barry Allen.

This is why you should choose friends based on whether you like them or not, rather than solely because they had unprotected sex in the same month that your IUD failed.

Scroll down, the "mommy cards" are awesome.

Seriously, if you're not reading her, you are missing out.

"There's Keanu Reeves, Robert Goulet, Paul Anka–but let's not dwell on Merv Griffin's failed marriages." -- Martin Short, on Letterman last night.

"And thank you, God, for making me an atheist." -- Ricky Gervais, at the Golden Globes

Amen, brother.

The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas.

From my grandparents' flowery explanation and frequent use of the word "miracle," I went in expecting to be blown away by the production. Unfortunately, the church moms and the pathetic excuses for actors that they called their offspring failed to bring the characters to life in the way I had hoped. And the story just seemed to center around everyone being really impressed with Jesus and there wasn't much suspense and not a single battle scene.

And then there's this: 10 Things Christmas Would be Better Off Without.

Warning: contains language, because, you know, that's how we fucking communicate.

It's not unrealistic to get rid of Jesus from Christmas, you know. Pink Floyd did just fine without Syd Barrett. THINGS EVOLVE, PEOPLE.

Additionally, let us extend our gratitude that this was not the year that you allowed the alien armadas to attack, to rapaciously steal our natural resources, and to feed on us, obliging us to make a last-ditch effort to infect their computers with a virus, rely on microbes to give them a nasty cold, or moisten them vigorously in the hope that they are water-soluble. I think I speak for all of us when I say that moistening aliens was not on the agenda for any of us at this table. Thank you, Lord, for sparing us that duty.

Brother Scalzi presiding.

Started Saturday earlier than I wanted to, in part by not being sleepy enough to make going to bed worthwhile until 3a. Got back up at 9, and helped Dragonet deliver a table to Kalimeg. In the afternoon, we all went out to the ConTraception 22 meeting. I nearly overdosed on the schadenfreude as Ralphie and I watched Nebraska put 24 points on his beloved Tigers in the first quarter. He'd done a complete Kübler-Ross by the time the second quarter had started. Fascinating to witness.

After stopping to check on some friends' cats (the friends were in DC, the bums), Rohanna and I headed out for dinner (at Sabor y Sol, nummy as always), and then to the Sprint Center to see Roger Waters and associates perform "The Wall." Rather than spend $15 for parking, I dropped Ro off and drove to my workplace and parked there. A brisk six-block walk later I made my way through the masses queued up for the obligatory security check (metal detector, but no wands this time) and made it to my seat well before the show began.

( And what a show. )I left Ro to use the facilities and make her way to the street at her leisure, and went to get the van, thence to pick her up. As I was walking along 13th Street I noticed a group of people in superhero costumes coming towards me. Most of them were standard-issue outfits: Superman, Bat-Man, Wolverine, the usual. But the two at the front of the group were the ones that caught my eye. It was none other than the Ambiguously Gay Duo! I cracked up, and made my way to their side of the street to offer my applause and congratulations. They seemed pleased I had recognized them.

All in all, a wonderful night an a great show. If you have a chance to see it, I urge you do do so. I just wish I could take a week and see all the shows in London, as that is the most likely place for David Gilmour to make his promised appearance to perform on "Comfortably Numb." Lucky bastards.

1) Wednesday, the Nebraska Furniture Mart truck showed up to take away the now-empty dead freezer. For a variety of reasons, the exterior of the freezer had bits of rust on it, and looked like it had died of some nasty disease. According to Rohanna, who stayed home to wait for them, one of the two guys looked at the dead freezer and complained about its appearance, and said he wasn't sure he wanted it in the truck with all the nice new appliances they had yet to deliver.

"How about we just haul it out to the curb for you?" he said to Ro. She allowed as how this was not acceptable, and the guy persisted, saying that there were lots of "salvagers" who drove around the area and would take it away. She didn't say anything, just looked at him, and then watched as the took it up the Dorothy door stairs and into the truck.


2) Got home last night, and the weather report was showing potential pop-up storms, so I ran over to Home Despot to get a cover for the baby coffin grill and Artie, which fits nicely under one of the side trays. Grabbed a couple of other things, and headed for the auto checkout. I scanned in the drain cleaner, and then the second item, which was a can of Rust-o-leum high-heat spray paint to use on the coffin after I got all the rust out of it. The machine beeped at me, and I saw the following message on the screen:

"Please show your ID to the clerk"

I turned around and looked at the two young men (both African-American, 'cause I live in the 'to, doncha know), and of them glanced at his screen, looked at me, and started typing. At this point, I realized what was going on, and said to them "Oh, yeah, I'm goin' tagging with my BBQ paint tonight." They tried hard, but couldn't help cracking up. Point for moi.

Yes, there will be other notes, but this one is extra special.

Saturday, after adventures you all will learn about in the future, Tully and I ran over to Costco to acquire some steaks for dinner, plus a couple of other items we needed. While we were in the line to have the receipt checked, a young girl (teen aged, I would guess 15 tops, but that's not an area where I have any expertise whatsoever) walked by us. Her bright yellow t-shirt caught my eye, and I realized the picture on the front was the classic Lloyd Dobler pose from "Say Anything." Then I realized there were problems.

The first problem was that instead of John Cusak, the person holding the boombox* was Justin Beiber. The second problem was that the boombox was positioned on the shirt so that the speakers just happened(2) to cover the wearer's breasts. Tully and I looked at each other, and I said "So wrong, in so many ways," and he just nodded.

The third problem, that I instantly recognized Justin Bieber from a brief glance at a t-shirt, we won't talk about.


*Almost typed "boobbox."

(2) For values of "just happened" that lean toward the "totally designed for that effect" end of the spectrum