Intergalactic House of Paisley

Glenn Beck summons his Faux News tears, with . . . Vick's Vap-O-Rub!







And admits "My eyes are getting used to it."

This clown is not simply a douchebag, he's a complete matched set of douche fucking luggage.

Via Crooks and Liars and Pandagon.

A clip from some Faux News affiliate wherein an "expert" in something or other offers new horizons in the definition of public displays of affection:









Well. Isn't that special.

Ganked from james_nicoll.

My new favorite lesbian crush, Rachel Maddow, just noted that Sen. Harry Reid expressed his feelings that former Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) should not go to prison for his conviction on seven counts of concealing illegal contributions, given that Stevens was a "war hero" in WWII[1] and that "this was a different world, and Sen. Stevens didn't understand that" (all quotes approximate, from memory, but pretty damn close).

Rachel then quoted Sen. Stevens from a phone call that the feds taped a couple of years ago, in which Stevens told a representative of the oil company indicted for making the illegal contributions "They won't shoot us, this isn't Iraq . . . The worst that happens is, we pay a little fine and do a little jail time." So much for that "didn't understand thing.

Rachel then looked at the camera and said, "You know, these people work for us. We pay their salaries. Maybe they should set up a commitee or a search party to find the dignity that supposed to go with the office."

Awesome.

Bonus Maddowism "Cheese should never be in a drink. Never."



[1] There seems to be this idea going around that the simple fact of serving in the military during time of war (for values of war) automatically makes one "a hero." This seems to me to redefine the bar so low as to remove any meaning from the term "hero." To me, merely serving in the military (or any of its adjuncts, like the National Guard) is not heroic for any reasonable value of the term. To diminish the actions of true heroes in this way would be to render equivalent the service of, oh, say, John Kerry and George W. Bush.

To the degree that the nation has cast its gaze on Alaska, it's been with bug-eyed disbelief that its voters may have actually re-elected Ted Stevens instead of, say, making a vest and hat out of his skin.

That's an Alaskan writing. Sums it up pretty well, I'd say.

Snark supreme, from Get Your War On, on 236.com, via Eschaton.

Can't embed; obviously LJ is trying to subvert the new paradigm.

Update: 236 also has the headline of the week: " Sarah Palin is like Ronald Reagan, if Ronald Reagan wasn't smart enough to be an actor."

In other news, I finally had time to assemblle my new smoker, and quickly discovered that it had been bought before (the scribbled customer service number on the instruction manual was a clue), and that it was broken in a way that would not be good to try to deal with. So I went back to Home Despot (luckily it's 4 blocks from home), and they were amazingly good about a) helping me get the only one left off the 3rd shelf, and b) installing the replacement door that was in the box to fix the same problem the original one had. It's now seasoning, in anticipation of it's job next Saturday smoking a turkey for the KaCSFFS Thanksgiving dinner.

OK, I am officially creeped out by Circuit City's "We'll Hook You Up" ad campaign. Of course, most consumers have been creeped out by Circuit City for some time now, thus the store closings. I have to admit I am surprised it took so long; I expected more of a backlash from their DIVX fiasco (look it up, I'm too lazy to find a link). Wish I had cash, I'm sure I could score some good deals.

I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't dare hope it would be this big.

A big step forward for America.

Onward.

Got up at my usual 6a, threw on some clothes (Arlo Guthrie Alice's Restaurant 40 Anniversary Massacree Tour t-shirt) and drove to our polling place. At 6.05 the line was out the door and down the block, so I went back home and went through my usual morning activities. I left the house again about 8.40 and went back. No line outside, but there was a huge line for the L-R section of the sign-in table. Perhaps dividing the book into five sections, rather than four, might speed things up next time. Took about 20 minutes to go through the line, less then five minutes to fill in the ballot: light rail yes, home care yes, gambling changes yes.

I cast one reluctant Dem vote, for Chris Koster, and one protest Republican vote, against my Congressman, Emanuel Cleaver II, for his vote on FISA and his pathetic excuse for doing so, which was that since Sprint employees lived in his district, he didn't want the company to possibly go bankrupt. Asshat. Sprint will be dead within seven years tops, irrespective of its participation in illegal wiretapping and data mining.

NPulsifer is coming over to watch the results, much beer will be consumed no matter what happens. Check out Making Light for liveblogging all night long.

Via Boing Boing, the 25 Harshest Reactions to the Wall Street Bailout:

http://www.10zenmonkeys.com/2008/09/24/25-harshest-reactions-to-the-wall-street-bailout/

The picture at the top deserves a Pulitzer.

I actually watched our National Deer in the Headlights address the country on the financial crisis tonight. It was patently obvious that:

1) He was reading (badly, and possibly phonetically) from a teleprompter


2) He had no clue what he was saying; at one point he endorsed several of Senator Dodd's alternatives to the administration's manifesto bill without any visible signs of cognitive dissonance (i.e., his head asploding)

3) He's learned the lessons of the McCain campaign: lie early and often. He referred to action he took, even though all reports last week stated that Paulson and Bernanke acted, then pantsed briefed him.

In other news, Senator McPOW has suspended his campaign (except for all the appearances he made after the announcement*) and tried to get the debate Friday postponed, due to the crisis. Senator Obama's camp was polite enough not to use the phrase "walk and chew gum" in their response.

This has passed the "car wreck" stage, and is approaching "circus train derails and plows into a convoy of buses full of nuns" territory. John Stewart and his writers must be delirious with joy.


*McCain blew off Letterman ('cause he had to get back to Washington for the first time since April), but took the time to stay in New York and chat with Katie Couric. Tune in to Letterman tonight for Dave's comments.

Michael Palin for President






Via Pharyngula.

The Johnson County (Kansas) District Attorney for Fetuses, Phill Kline, has been soundly defeated in the Republican primary tonight. When he was appointed (via backroom shenanigans that would put the Daley family to shame) to replace the man who replaced him as Kansas Attorney General, Kline said he would not run for a full term. The night before the filing deadline, Kline announced that he'd changed his mind; i.e., had a bunch of money from the professional Fetus Nazis thrown in his lap to convince him to continue his selfless self-absorbed assault on Planned Parenthood, reproductive rights in general, and above all the idea of women as independent entities with rights as opposed to being baby factories for Jesus. The fact that he lost 60/40 might be a considered by some as a sign from Ghod to Sit the Fuck Down and Shut the Fuck Up*. The likelihood this lesson will take is, however, minimal. I expect him to run for governor on a Full Womb platform in 2010.

On the Missouri side, the Republicans had several solidly loony candidates to replace Matt Blunt, who announced earlier this year he would not run for re-election (the usual family-based reasons were given, but a continuing investigation into mass deletion of politically-related emails that qualified as government documents protected by the Sunshine Act might have had some influence). Reliably right-wing thug Kenny Hulshof beat Kathryn Harris manqué Sarah Steelman, and was introduced at the victory rally by Missouri's own Senator Happy Hour, Kit Bond, who managed to stagger to the podium from the martini fountain long enough to slur a few words for the candidate. What I found bizarre was that as Huslhof made his way to the podium, the sound system was blaring a song sung by Sammy Hagar (whether his own or a Van Hagar piece I would not know). Seems an odd choice, but I suppose Prussian Blue was already taken. Local Channel 3 earned bonus points for having a reporter on the scene who combined a face made for radio with a voice designed for ASL.

And on the national front today, Senator John McCain (R-Depends) made an appearance at the annual Harley Davidson rally in Sturgis. During a speech that was particularly unhinged from reality, even for him, he offered his current wife, Princess Botoxia, as a potential contestant in the Buffalo Chip Beauty Contest that is part of the festivities. Her Rictusness reacted to this odd proposition by slightly twitching one eyebrow to express her shock and horror, or possibly her extreme interest in the concept.

How long until the election?

*(tm) Henry Rollins